To a New Year and Old Memories...

As some of you may know, my father, was a pretty unique man. What he lacked in height, he made up with a big smile and humor. 

During the Jewish holidays, I think of him often. We were very close... He taught me many of life's lessons. Possibly, one of the most important memories I have of him, is what he told me about God. I was a teenager at the time and struggling with some of the ideals of Christianity. I chose not to go to church that Sunday. My dad and I were sitting on the dock off our backyard and looking for manatees. He knew I was upset. My father told me that God is everywhere. That I didn't have to go to church or synagogue to be with Him. The important thing was to have a relationship with Him. To do right by Him. To fear Him and love Him. 

I do not pretend to be Jewish. My blood is Apache. But I will be teaching my son what my dad taught me about God (less the fear Him part). And I will continue to honor my father during the Jewish high holidays. 

Many of his other "lessons" were much funnier. Usually, one liners. 

Here are some of my faves. 

Warning: some of the may be crude... But effective....

1. "Tell them to got shit in your hat"

My ultimate favorite. As the story goes... He received a phone call from my sister's preschool principle because she repeated this.... Whoever it was, I'm sure they deserved it.

2. "Worry about yourself" 

This works in many ways. Don't get into other people's business and problems. Or it can be used to imply that you or another person needs to get their shit together before having an opinion.

3. "Everyone's a professor" 

Another way to say they're a know-it-all

4. "Big shot" 

Either to say someone is a punk... Or to remind you that you're getting to big for your britches.

5. "Yeah, and if your mother had balls - she'd be your father"

There are no excuses... There are no ifs.

6. "Take it for what it's worth"

As in who are you dealing with? Are they respectable, educated, honorable? Or just another dumbass.

This is also used when giving advice - interchangeable with "take it or leave it".

7. "It all comes out in the wash"

My father's take on Karma.

8. "I've already forgotten what you haven't learned yet"

You're not so smart... Or you still have a lot to learn.

9. "Do you know what a mensch is"?

This was my dads way of reminding me that I was deserving of a good man. I remember him telling me if I would be embarrassed to introduce a boy to my family - then he's not for me, period.

10. "You're  a Gratenstein"

Don't forget who you are, where you come from. And be proud of who you are. It instantly gave me strength. I still hear his voice telling me this sternly when I need to hear it.